Content warning: self harm, scars
The photo above probably isn’t as shocking as I expected it to be, I know that you know something is up when I wear sleeves in 35 degree weather, I know that it’s something you’ve suspected for a long time. I’ve touched briefly on it on this blog once, and told myself that was it- I wasn’t going to go any further into it. It’s scary to let the people who love you know that you have been hurting yourself. But my life is changing, I’m getting married, I’m in a therapy program that will really help turn my life around, and I’m honestly trying to quit. So in the name of complete honesty I wanted to post this to let you all know about my not so secret secret.
I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner, and believe me none of this is any of your fault. You are all wonderful, loving and supportive in ways that I am so thankful for. It is because of all of you that I am able to say I’m on the way to fully recovering from this and starting a new chapter. This is hard for me to talk about, and hard for me to tell you all, in part because of the guilt I have for keeping from you for so long.
I have been self harming since I was 11, and frequently doing it since I left school. I’ve spent hours and hours in hospitals fixing the mistakes I’ve made, and I don’t want to waste any more of my life. My family and friends deserve to know the honest truth about what has been going on. My body doesn’t deserve the punishments I dish out to it, and neither do I.